If a guy significantly improves his women-skills, he may be labelled a pickup artist (PUA) or player. But not all skilled pickup artists are interested in one-night stands…

The term pick up artist has negative connotations. It brings to mind sleazy lounge lizards with too much jewelry and cologne, out to get the next conquest. That’s not how we at the Mystery Method see it. The pick up artist is really just the first 20 minutes or so of an interaction between a man and a woman in social/dating situation. Mystery Method is proud to teach all types of men how to be a pick up artist. We are proud to teach the skills and techniques to break through the ice and social convention and actually approach and get the attention of interest of a desirable woman, whether she is alone, with friends, or in a large mixed group. Whether she then becomes your friend, your girlfriend, or your lover is up to you, the pick up artist.

But with good PU skills a guy can meet and attract women from different backgrounds, different levels of education, and even different cultures and countries. A guy with good pickup skills has options and does not necessarily want to bed every woman he meets!

Consistently attracting the most desirable – intelligent, attractive and bubbly – women calls for more than luck or just a little charm, it requires an understanding of the complex dynamics of the male-to-female interaction…

To attract the most desirable woman in a social setting requires an understanding of social dynamics. People in groups behave in predictable fashions. Although social gatherings might seem uncoordinated and random, these patterns can be learned, and using them to achieve your goals can become ridiculously easy.

For example, it is well established that women are attracted to men who demonstrate social status and are the leader of other men. The Mystery Method breaks this down (and dozens of other useful patterns) and has tested literally hundreds of ways to demonstrate this, keeping only those which are proven to actually work in real life. Source: http://www.mysterymethod.com/Social-Dynamics.html

Once you understand the underlying process of attraction, you will have access to many ‘unfair’ advantages for attracting beautiful and amazingly interesting women.

The post below is nearly 8 years old! This is when Mystery began sharing is thoughts, knowledge and experience of picking-up and seducing women.

“Mystery”
Fri, 04 Sep 1998 04:00:00 GMT
newsgroup: alt.seduction.fast
subject: The Greatest ART of Them ALL!

I am a pick-up artist.

I’m not a player, but I have devoted a large portion of my time to the art of seduction. I have read many books, I dress cool, have many girlfriends and believe to be rather charming at times. However, I feel very much alone in this art. My friends do not enjoy the ‘chase’ at all. I attempt to advise them on the reasoning behind the techniques but they just freeze up. I had a tough time going to grips that I am what I just said I am. Why? Well, saying you are one will not increase your chances of getting a woman attracted to you. Truth is though, I have had sex with 56 girls so far (well less, but I include oral sex and other such pleasures as sexual - you know, if you don’t have condoms you can always find other ways to please eachother) and many have been beautiful. I mean 10s! I am very good at what I do. With the risk of sounding arrogant, I am the best pick-up artist I’ve ever met It IS an art. I worked very hard to get good. There are many RULES I may drop here on NG. Please take them only as considerations. They are MY RULES and they have helped me greatly.

My point? I wish I knew other men like myself who enjoy picking up women. For the sport. I enjoy friendly challenges but my friends have all conceded defeat. They enjoy coming out with me for the entertainment value but when they have the opportunity to approach a woman, they freeze up. Its not all that fun. I enjoy their company but cannot LEARN from them. I honestly feel like I am a MASTER at this … not because I can get any woman (that is
not possible when so many variables are outside of my influence) but because he seduction is so controlled and smooth (not sleezy but rather natural). have considered writing a book on it. Thing is, I have made notes on my irls issues on a computer scheduler after every time I went out and I built up a good outline to say the least. My ‘approach’ for the book would be different than the other books in that there is a natural FLOW that takes place. I wrote the stuff more for ME, so I really dont have an interest in writing a book for others. I will however, impart some minor pearls of wisdom from time to time here. I hope I may converse with other artists who truly enjoy the game.

It is a very simple system really

1. find
2. meet
3. attract
4. close

Say it with me, find, meet, attract, close. Find, meet, attract, close.

The details and subtilties however are the meat of the system.

Mystery

When learning the Game, some AFCs (average frustrated chumps) think seduction is part of pick-up, when it’s not! Seduction is a separate but related to pick-up - it’s not part of the pick-up process. It’s important to realize seduction follows on from PU. Because of this, many guys make major mistakes during the seduction stage.

According to Mystery, don’t seduce to early and don’t seduce to late. Also, plan where you intend to seduce – don’t leave it to luck, because you may end up very disappointed.

Read about the 7-hour Rule : on average it takes about 7 hours from meet to sex with a girl. This is not an exact figure but based on significant field experience.

Seduction to early: Don’t escalate beyond kissing until you have successfully completed the attraction and comfort stages of the M3 model. This will usually take at least 3 hours (there are exceptions, of course, especially with alcohol). Our experience is that most women’s resistance to physical intimacy starts to disappear after she has spent 3 hours with a man (this can be over more than one meeting) and usually disappears completely after 6 hours.

Seduction to late: If you spend more than 10 hours with a woman without beginning physical intimacy, you may have already lost your chances to seduce her. She may have grown so comfortable and used to your presence in a non-physical way that the introduction of intimacy may seem unnatural and weird to her. Ever have a woman tell you “let’s just be friends” when you’ve finally screwed up your courage to make a move? That’s probably what happened. If you wait too long to seduce her, you become her girlfriend, not her lover.

The wrong place for seduction: Yes, you can turn a woman as soon as you meet her. We use seduction all the time to show our students. But it’s self-defeating if you want to build a relationship with her. Say you meet a woman in a nightclub, seduce her and you get hot and heavy in a corner, with hands going where they shouldn’t. Well, you can’t finish the job in a club, can you? (well, you can, but that shouldn’t be your basic strategy). Her friends will be highly unlikely to let her leave with you, and she won’t want to feel “easy” in front of them. So you get her phone number and call her later. Well, when you call her, she’s no longer feeling sexy from being all dressed up with a few drinks in a club dancing with good looking men. She might be changing her cat litter for all the control you have over it. And all she remembers about you is the seduction and sexual behavior you two shared, so she knows that’s what you’re after.

At first, expect to make many silly mistake, like rushing into it or waiting to long and she begins to wonder why you haven’t tried it on with her. With time and experience, you’ll start to identify the key moments when to begin the seduction process.

Don’t worry about early mistakes – we’ve all been there! But learn from them! After quite a few pick-ups, you’ll start to get a feel for when she’s ready to be seduced.

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.

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Initial body language is crucial when opening a set. The women will get their first impression of you; and you want that impression to positive – that you’re a playful and confident guy.

When you first run your opener, don’t face the set with your body. In other words, your head may be turned towards the set as you address them, but the rest of your body should not be.

You can tell a lot just by where someone’s feet are pointing. If one came across as report-seeking during the opener, the set would perceive it as a low-value behavior. They would then treat him like a low-value guy and blow him out of the set.
Field-testing has shown us that the percentage of sets that open successfully is drastically affected by this one factor.

There are two common opening scenarios worth mentioning at this time. In the first, you are simply walking by the set “on your way back to your friends.” As you pass the target set, you stop, turn your head towards them, and run your opener. As the opener hooks, you can then turn the rest of your body towards the set and continue.
In the second scenario, you are already in a set, adjacent to the target group. This gives you social proof At the right time, simply lean back towards the target group and, over your shoulder, run an opener. As before, when they start to hook, you can turn your body towards them.

When picking up women, some pick-up artists prefer to make up stories on-the-fly to create attraction, but, this is not the most effective method. Revealing vulnerabilities helps amplify attraction, and an ideal way to achieve this is via telling a personal story.

The Mystery Method makes use of canned material. If a particular value-demonstrating routine has been internalized, and is ready for use in set, then that routine is said to be in the can.

A venusian artist who can deliver canned material properly will be able to generate consistent, powerful responses while he is in set. It is a potent tool. Of course, no single tool should ever become a crutch — it’s also vitally important for the open-minded venusian artist to practice spontaneous, natural conversations. There is something to be said for basic social skills! Nevertheless, your skill set is incomplete without the ability to congruently deliver canned material.

It is recommended that you create a routine stack of canned material that you can practice in the field. That is, an opener, a few routines, a few negs, and so on.
While practicing your routine stack, approaches start to become a blur. Patterns emerge over time. Situations and reactions become easily predictable before they occur. Social challenges are discovered and solved. The rest of the world is riving by at hyper-speed.

Once you have performed a particular routine hundreds or thousands of times, you don’t even have to think about what you are saying. Your mind is free for other tasks, such as planning logistics. The target is consciously considering her responses, but you have already had this conversation a thousand times before. You have already fully explored all the conversational threads that could possibly arise from this piece of material. It’s almost like seeing the future.

Building social proof helps reduce a player-like image, and may significantly help in getting approach invitations from girls…

Some players can be seen walking around the venue, eyeballing all the women and looking for a good one to approach. This behavior looks predatory, and is quite transparent to the people in the crowd. Similarly, some guys may be seen standing in a group, peering around at the field. If they don’t look like they are having a great time together, if they aren’t hanging out with girls, if they aren’t running a set …then they will start to lose social status. When one of them finally does open a set, he may discover that opening is more difficult in environments where he has negative social proof.

Whereas a venusian artist, rolling in with his wing, is not going to be looking around at the people in the crowd. Rather, he’s going to be talking to his wing, and it will appear as if they are two high-value guys having a great time together.

If he were looking around the venue, especially with a serious expression on his face, it would telegraph that he is looking for something more fun and of more value than the spot where he already is. But he isn’t. He believes that the most fun and valuable spot in the field is his own spot, his own reality - and he is congruent with that.

Women are searching for a man whose reality is more fun and more valuable than their own. You must be congruent with the value that you have to offer, and it must be apparent to the room. Follow the three-second rule, and you will be in set much more often, resulting in higher social proof

It’s interesting that whenever you have more social proof, you will get noticeably more occurrences of proximity. Girls will also give you other approach invitations, such as making eve contact. Remember that it’s not necessary (nor is it necessarily desirable) to wait around for AI (approach invitations,) because with practice, a venusian artist can consistently open sets even without AI.

Social proof is an integral part of the Mystery Method!

Years ago before I was aware of pick-up artists, seduction techniques, and even a underground seduction community, I thought to be successful with women I needed to:

• Treat them very politely: always open doors for them, always buy the drinks and meals, buy flowers, give up your seat for them, etc.
• Always be on time for dates – in fact be early and wait for them.
• Give them your undivided time and patience.
• Don’t let them know you are interested in a sexual way – it will happen it just takes time.
• Only date one woman at a time, and if that doesn’t work out, then, and only then, start looking for another woman.
• etc.

I was a ‘nice’ guy, and guess how successful I was with women? I was an abysmal failure!

None of this being sickly ‘nice’ works! Women like adventure, in the same way men do: they will shag in parks, cemeteries, on trains, in cars, etc. They love being teased, and going emotional roll-a-coaters…

Men tired of being labeled the friend but never the boyfriend can turn to the “seduction community” for help.

A pretty blonde passes by the group of single guys, but they ignore her as she stops to pour milk in her Styrofoam coffee cup.

The dozen men, in their 20s and 30s, are huddled at tables at the back of the St. Laurent Blvd. Cafe. Their attention is directed at the flamboyant 6-foot-5-inch “uber-trainer” from Toronto.

It’s a Friday night in July, and each of the men has paid to spend three days following Mystery (Aka: Erik von Markovik), an illusionist by profession who’s reputed to be one of Canada’s authorities on attracting women.

Mystery is well known in what is loosely called the “seduction community” — an international group of mostly guys who exchange views and dating advice online. Think of it as an interactive “how-to” guide, a male version of women’s dating books or magazines that vaunt “20 ways to get a man.”

Beyond the garish online ads boasting “how to pick up strippers,” the online forums off a place where contrasting seduction methods are debated, using jargon like “AFC” — for average frustrated chump — and “MLTRs” (multiple long-term relationships).

One popular place for these exchanges is an online mailing list of 3,000 run by a Montrealer.

Montreal is also the first Canadian city to follow London, San Francisco and other major cities in setting up clandestine “lairs”, where guys discuss these topics in person. Lairs are invitation-only house meetings that also provide a support network for the men who attend them.

Because of social criticism attached to the notion of “picking up” women and paying for advice on how to meet them, the community remains furtive.

His students have different uses for their skills. Some want a serious girlfriend, while others want to go out with several women simultaneously.

What they usually share is the experience of being hurt romantically — either by a former girlfriend or by a chronic failure to find a girlfriend.

One man, Jack, a Montrealer in his 30s, said he had no problem talking to a woman — only the usual topic of conversation was her problems. For years, he was the “therapist” but never the boyfriend.

That’s when Jack fell into a depression and began doing research online.

He read about Mystery and other experts and joined the Montreal lair, where their ideas debated: “It was amazing to have all these brains focusing on one problem.”

For Mystery, the problem can be rectified through better social skills. Source: http://www.mysterymethod.com/Article.aspx?aid=9

So, am I Mr Nice-Guy now? Yes, sort of! I’m pleasant and respectful of women, but now I’m confident, assertive, and playful with women – which is what they want! Women don’t want overly nice, needy, indecisive, boring men! They want men who are confident, a little cheeky, who can be forward when they need to, who can say no and mean no, who lead the way especially in the bed-room.

This is why the Mystery Method is so effective. It dispels many myths about women and provides simple techniques and tactics that can be used to improve a guy’s chances of successfully meeting and attracting women.

It’s not just about one-night stands or ‘cheating’! It’s about developing ‘women skills’, which most men don’t have!

You ask, “Would you like to kiss me?

If she says yes, kiss her.

If she says, “Maybe,” ”Why?”, “What do you mean” or “I donno” it means she does, but is shy about it. Reply with a gleam in your eye, “Let’s find out…” *kiss*

Remember to caress the back of her neck to show you mean business.

If she says no, you reply, “Well I didn’t say you could, it just looked like you had something on your mind.” (Don’t ask “Why not?”This shows low self-esteem.)
If she says, “not yet” or “not here” it means she is open to it but there is a logistical issue. Perhaps her friends are nearby, or she needs more gaming first. Say, “I understand,” and continue gaming her.

Does it seem as if most of these lines involve asking her for permission in order to kiss her? Is that wimpy? They are just considerations. We’ve found that just going for the kiss without indicating your intentions can sometimes lead to embarrassment — more than her saying just saying no.

When she says no, that is much easier to save face from than the situation where you try to kiss her and she moves away.

That having been said, feel free to field-test every possible kiss move that you can think of. Just go right in for the kiss without saying a word. If she turns her head, use your hand to turn it back and kiss her anyway. Test it out a hundred times. Be enthusiastically willing to brainstorm and experiment.

If you want to increase your chances of seducing a woman, reveal something vulnerable about yourself.

When people share vulnerabilities with each other, it demonstrates (and creates) an emotional connection between them. It’s one of those tilings that, if done too soon, will come off like you are trying too hard to gain rapport with her — a DLV. So don’t be Captain Sensitive when you first meet her. But used at the right time, sharing vulnerabilities is a powerful comfort builder.

Did she tell you something personal about herself? Did she tell you a secret? The Question Game is very useful for this sort of sharing. It’s also possible to structure stones to make the reveal of vulnerability appear to be accidental.

Some examples of field-tested vulnerability stories:

So much unattractive behavior comes from a desire to avoid vulnerability. The secret is to embrace your vulnerability and still be unaffected. It’s ok to be wrong. It’s ok to laugh at yourself sometimes. Think about it: if you’re sensitive about her seeing that you’re wrong, then it obviously matters to you what she thinks. But I thought you were unaffected? So the next time you tell the story of when you fought a lion with your bare hands, remember that it’s more attractive - and interesting — to admit you were scared shitless than it is to play Mister Tough Guy.